xiao_meimei: (Filled with wonder)
[personal profile] xiao_meimei
Time was when I'd have told you that there weren't really any difference between the two. If you weren't guilty, then you were innocent. But turns out there's a lot of differences, and maybe the having of one ain't quite the same as not having the other. What I mean to say is, I think there ain't a lot of innocence left in the 'verse. Maybe some folks, somewhere, but when it comes down to it, even folks you might think to be innocent ain't, not really.

Take River, for example. Butai zheng-chang de, an' ain't no one gonna disagree with that, no matter how much we love her. An' after some of what she did in that bar, from what I heard, I ain't exactly sure she ain't guilty of a thing or two. Leastways she's awful good at helpin' the Captain read folks now, an' it probably ain't right to say any of us lack at least a smidgen of guilt, the way we live our lives, dong ma? Spend most of our time doing things that the law might take objection to. But for all that, I'd tell anyone who thought to say different that River's innocent. 'Course then you think 'bout what those folks did to her, an' I have to wonder if she feels innocent anymore. Have to wonder if, bein' able to read all of us, see in our heads the things goin' on and knowin' the things she knows, if she can be innocent still. just a thought, a hunch, a part of me that says yes. Some part of her retains that little bit that most folk lose, an' if that's because of her not bein' quite right, well, then, maybe it's a good thing.

I was guilty of a right mess of things before I came on board. Sneakin' out when I weren't supposed to. Boys who might've been a bit too young, rightly, for me to have been messin' 'round with, though I still say that weren't my fault. Talkin' back to my folks, an' always wantin' more than they could give. An' ain't no one going to tell you that I ain't guilty of a whole mess of stuff since joinin' up. It's a life of crime, sure enough, an' even if it is honest labor, too, I probably wouldn't have much defense before a court of law, if I even ever got that far.

But still, lookin' back on that girl I was, an' thinking about all the things that happened since, the things I've seen an' learned that people can do to each other...I think it may be that I was still innocent, before, misbehavin' an' all. Ain't so sure you can say that anymore.

Ain't sure I mind.


xiao_meimei: (Default)
Kaylee Frye

November 2008

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