xiao_meimei | Library of the Four Winds Challenge 06#16 -- Black

We spend more of our time out here in the black than any other single place. Makes a right bunch of sense if you think on it, what with the sort of work we do. Weren't exactly what I meant when I said I wanted to see the 'verse, but I'm finding that it's a sight better. Course it's nice to be in port and see all the shiny things in the stores, but it ain't like we're usually in much of a position to be buying shiny things.

Out here in the black, ain't no shiny distractions and reminders of all the differences between folks and what some folk might see as fei wu and what other people might see as real pretty. It's just us and Serenity. I got my engine room and my bunk, with my pretty dress in it if I feel like looking at shiny things. Ain't sure when I'll ever get to wear it again, but it's there.

Got all sorts of possibilities, too. Out here, ain't nothin' that might not happen. Can figure you're just a girl and you're on a boat with just a lot of other folk and nothing much matters but that you get the job done and that you're there for each other and take care of your crew. Other things, things that might matter on the ground don't matter so much here. Course some folk still try and make them matter and that's just fei hua. And more than fei hua, that's just their loss.

I like it out here. Ain't what I expected when the Captain walked in on me and Bester and offered me the job. Sure is different than back home. But Serenity's become home and she's made for being out here, doing what we're doing. Ain't nowhere else I'd want to be.

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*startled for a moment, then kisses her cheek back, grins*

*rueful smile* I wish I'd met you earlier.

*touches fingertips to her lips for a moment, trying to think of something to say*

*startled by that, sort of half smiles against them*

*sighs a second, leans in and kisses her softly*

*indrawn breath, freezing for a moment, then leaning into him a bit and returning the kiss just as softly*

*arms around her, pulling her close, sighs*

*afte a moment, quietly* He'll figure it out eventually. No one's that stupid.

*snuggles up a bit* Well, he ain't really stupid. Just about girls I guess.

*has a thought* What if he don't like girls? What if I've been running around throwing myself at a fella who's sly?

*happy to cuddle her* Guys usually are. Although girls seem to be more stupid about not saying anything. We're stupid! You practically have to beat us over the head with it. *smiles a little*

... um. Well, if he doesn't, not much you can do about it. Has he looked at any guys that you've seen?

*head on his shoulders* Yeah, I might've noticed that a bit.

*considers, worrying at her lower lip* Well, I ain't actually been considering it in that light. I mean, he's real pretty. An' he dresses real nice an' I just figured that's 'cause he was rich. But sometimes he and the Captain...not that the Captain is sly mind you...but what if Simon likes him anyway?

*fingers through her hair*

Some straight guys just like their clothes. *small smile, doesn't say he's one of them 'cause, grunge look, but still* Pretty doesn't usually have much to do with which way a person swings. But he might like the Captain. And he might go both ways. Could always ask him, see if he knows.

*closes her eyes, sighs*

Tsao. An' won't I feel a right fool, if that's the case? I mean, no wonder he ain't acted on anything. I'm right there. Everyone knows how I feel. Ain't no reason for him not to act on it 'less he ain't interested, either 'cause I just ain't the type of girl he likes, or I ain't got the parts between my legs he likes.

*kisses her forehead*

Or he thinks he doesn't stand a chance. Or he thinks he has to do things a certain way. And maybe that certain way takes longer than you'd like it to take. Sometimes there's more ...

*sighs* Sometimes there's more going on in a guy's life than you'd think. Even if it doesn't have anything to do with the girl, it messes him up.

Well he is an idiot if he thinks he don't stand a chance. *sighs* The rest...I don't know.

I mean, he's got to take care of River. I get that. But we're friends, the two of us, an' ain't nothing says he can't take a little time for himself in all of that.

See, I told you. Guys are idiots. *kisses her forehead again*

I know that, and you know that, but maybe he doesn't know that.

*sighs* Maybe.

*hugs her, fingers through her hair*

*curls up against him, head back on his shoulder*

*closes his eyes, slow breaths in and out, thinking, warm hand rubbing along her arm*

*soft little intake of breath, glancing up at him, almost curious*

*glances back down at her, wry smile*

Our love lives are way too complicated.

*equally wry smile*

Ain't that the truth. It was a lot easier with the boys back home.

Just hang around, talk, do what you feel like? *still smiling, now thoughtful*

*nods* Yeah. An' everyone just knew you an' didn't care if you had engine grease under your fingers, 'cause most of them were farmers or worked doin' something where they got dirty, too. Jus' kick back an' have a beer under the stars an' then maybe fool around a bit.

You always knew where you stood.