xiao_meimei | Library of the Four Winds Challenge 06#16 -- Black

We spend more of our time out here in the black than any other single place. Makes a right bunch of sense if you think on it, what with the sort of work we do. Weren't exactly what I meant when I said I wanted to see the 'verse, but I'm finding that it's a sight better. Course it's nice to be in port and see all the shiny things in the stores, but it ain't like we're usually in much of a position to be buying shiny things.

Out here in the black, ain't no shiny distractions and reminders of all the differences between folks and what some folk might see as fei wu and what other people might see as real pretty. It's just us and Serenity. I got my engine room and my bunk, with my pretty dress in it if I feel like looking at shiny things. Ain't sure when I'll ever get to wear it again, but it's there.

Got all sorts of possibilities, too. Out here, ain't nothin' that might not happen. Can figure you're just a girl and you're on a boat with just a lot of other folk and nothing much matters but that you get the job done and that you're there for each other and take care of your crew. Other things, things that might matter on the ground don't matter so much here. Course some folk still try and make them matter and that's just fei hua. And more than fei hua, that's just their loss.

I like it out here. Ain't what I expected when the Captain walked in on me and Bester and offered me the job. Sure is different than back home. But Serenity's become home and she's made for being out here, doing what we're doing. Ain't nowhere else I'd want to be.

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*closes her eyes, sighs*

Tsao. An' won't I feel a right fool, if that's the case? I mean, no wonder he ain't acted on anything. I'm right there. Everyone knows how I feel. Ain't no reason for him not to act on it 'less he ain't interested, either 'cause I just ain't the type of girl he likes, or I ain't got the parts between my legs he likes.

*kisses her forehead*

Or he thinks he doesn't stand a chance. Or he thinks he has to do things a certain way. And maybe that certain way takes longer than you'd like it to take. Sometimes there's more ...

*sighs* Sometimes there's more going on in a guy's life than you'd think. Even if it doesn't have anything to do with the girl, it messes him up.

Well he is an idiot if he thinks he don't stand a chance. *sighs* The rest...I don't know.

I mean, he's got to take care of River. I get that. But we're friends, the two of us, an' ain't nothing says he can't take a little time for himself in all of that.

See, I told you. Guys are idiots. *kisses her forehead again*

I know that, and you know that, but maybe he doesn't know that.

*sighs* Maybe.

*hugs her, fingers through her hair*

*curls up against him, head back on his shoulder*

*closes his eyes, slow breaths in and out, thinking, warm hand rubbing along her arm*

*soft little intake of breath, glancing up at him, almost curious*

*glances back down at her, wry smile*

Our love lives are way too complicated.

*equally wry smile*

Ain't that the truth. It was a lot easier with the boys back home.

Just hang around, talk, do what you feel like? *still smiling, now thoughtful*

*nods* Yeah. An' everyone just knew you an' didn't care if you had engine grease under your fingers, 'cause most of them were farmers or worked doin' something where they got dirty, too. Jus' kick back an' have a beer under the stars an' then maybe fool around a bit.

You always knew where you stood.

*almost a grin* Friends who fool around a bit?

Well sure. People got needs an' ain't like there's always your one true love sittin' around.

*moment of thought*

That's true. *slightly husky, turning a bit to face her more directly*

*thoughtful for a second*

Well, least some folks got needs.

*notes the husky, looking up at him*

Ye-ep.

*looks down at her*

*little grin*

You've got a look seems to say you might be one of those folks.

*wicked grin*

From what you've been saying, you might be one of those folks too.

*cheerfully*

Oh, I ain't ever denied that.

*grins* Well. Since we both have needs, and neither of us seems to be sure of anything right now...

*is not blushing is not blushing is not blushing is too damn macho to blush!*

*bright smile*

You figure maybe we ought to do something 'bout those needs. Together?

I figure maybe we ought to, yeah. *grins*

*grins back*

I like the way you think.

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