Kaylee Frye (![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png)
xiao_meimei) wrote2005-04-27 11:53 am
xiao_meimei) wrote2005-04-27 11:53 am
Worst Flaw
I'm guessin' there's a lot of 'em. I don't try to dwell on 'em much, but they're there. I ain't perfect by no means. Thing is, I let folks down a lot. I ain't really near enough smart or fancy for Simon. He don't like this life much. Thinks if he gives into it, he'll be all uncivilized. Well, I guess we ain't civilized then. An' that means I ain't...civilized enough. I don't talk proper. I can if I really put my mind to it, I s'pose. I got some schoolin' but most of what I know's based on just...what I feel. Natural talent my daddy calls it. Way I can just look at an engine an' know what's wrong with her.
But that ain't schoolin' an' it ain't something most folks care to talk about. An' it don't always work. Serenity broke once an' I didn't see it comin' an' couldn't fix her. She just...broke, an' because I let her, we almost all died. Would have iff'n Captain hadn't found another ship an' traded theirs an' got himself all shot an' almost died from that.
I ain't brave enough at all. We went after Captain once an' there were all these folks just shootin' at us an' there was nothin' I could do about it. Couldn't shoot back. I just froze. I mean, Captain's life was at stake an' I just froze. That ain't nothin' to be proud of.
So. Yeah. I let folks down a lot. My only job is to be a useful part of the crew an' keep Serenity flyin' an' I can't even do that sometimes. Don't mean to let folks down, but...I ain't perfect. An' I really wish I was.
But that ain't schoolin' an' it ain't something most folks care to talk about. An' it don't always work. Serenity broke once an' I didn't see it comin' an' couldn't fix her. She just...broke, an' because I let her, we almost all died. Would have iff'n Captain hadn't found another ship an' traded theirs an' got himself all shot an' almost died from that.
I ain't brave enough at all. We went after Captain once an' there were all these folks just shootin' at us an' there was nothin' I could do about it. Couldn't shoot back. I just froze. I mean, Captain's life was at stake an' I just froze. That ain't nothin' to be proud of.
So. Yeah. I let folks down a lot. My only job is to be a useful part of the crew an' keep Serenity flyin' an' I can't even do that sometimes. Don't mean to let folks down, but...I ain't perfect. An' I really wish I was.
no subject
You ain't lettin' no one down girl, you keep us flyin', you got a gift and anyone who don't appreciate it, you send right over to me and I'll set them straight the old fashioned way.
What's all this talk about not bein' civilized? Readin' books, and spoutin' on about some Earth Mother fèihuà don't make a person more civilized than you. Just 'cause we don't got the schoolin' and don't talk all pretty-like doesn't mean we don't know a thing or two about the world, and what's important.
As for bein' brave? You're plenty brave. You leave the shootin' and killin' to those of us that are meant to be doin' that. We've all got our jobs to do, and you shouldn't have to be hurtin' no one if you don't want to be.
There, I said my piece. Don't like seein' you so down about things.
no subject
That's real sweet of you to say, Jayne. It's a stupid question makin' everyone go an' think about all the bad stuff. An' you're real shiny t'try an' make it be like I'm special.
I know I ain't all those things, but you're right 'bout us bein' as civilized as anyone. An'....an' I really don't wanna hurt no one. Well, maybe those húndàn scientists what hurt our River, but then I couldn't shoot folks hurtin' Captain, so...I don't know.
I'll try an' not be so down. I know it ain't my usual way.