xiao_meimei | Worst Flaw

I'm guessin' there's a lot of 'em. I don't try to dwell on 'em much, but they're there. I ain't perfect by no means. Thing is, I let folks down a lot. I ain't really near enough smart or fancy for Simon. He don't like this life much. Thinks if he gives into it, he'll be all uncivilized. Well, I guess we ain't civilized then. An' that means I ain't...civilized enough. I don't talk proper. I can if I really put my mind to it, I s'pose. I got some schoolin' but most of what I know's based on just...what I feel. Natural talent my daddy calls it. Way I can just look at an engine an' know what's wrong with her.

But that ain't schoolin' an' it ain't something most folks care to talk about. An' it don't always work. Serenity broke once an' I didn't see it comin' an' couldn't fix her. She just...broke, an' because I let her, we almost all died. Would have iff'n Captain hadn't found another ship an' traded theirs an' got himself all shot an' almost died from that.

I ain't brave enough at all. We went after Captain once an' there were all these folks just shootin' at us an' there was nothin' I could do about it. Couldn't shoot back. I just froze. I mean, Captain's life was at stake an' I just froze. That ain't nothin' to be proud of.

So. Yeah. I let folks down a lot. My only job is to be a useful part of the crew an' keep Serenity flyin' an' I can't even do that sometimes. Don't mean to let folks down, but...I ain't perfect. An' I really wish I was.

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

(This is awesome! Pure Kaylee!)

Gods Kaylee! You don't let anyone down. We can all depend on you to be bright and cheerful and to tell the Captain when you need parts. Yes, I know that you told him, repeatedly, about how the parts were wearing out. It's not your fault that they finally did.

Oh Kaylee, Kaylee, Kaylee, the fact that you would not take up arms and kill ... just proves you are the most civilized of us. You are the essence of civilization - light and love and joy, where humanity reaches its full potential to percieve the purpose of things without the need for words and books and 'learning'.

You remind us of our humanity and the purpose of civilization. I don't know what I'd do if you weren't here ... out in the black. You are our Earth Mother. How can I convey to you what a compliment that is? That I stand in awe of your natural lushness. The ease with which you fit into your body and move through life...how beauty surrounds you and falls on the rest of us like a shower from you.

*blinks as she reads*

...Wow. I don't think I ever heard anything like that before.

I don't do all that stuff. I can't...I mean, I can be as bright an' cheerful as you please an' try an' keep all of your spirits up an' such but...

Ain't no way I'm the most civilized or...Earth Mother-ish...

Trust the ol' doc to get his fancy poetical words in first but anyways...

You ain't lettin' no one down girl, you keep us flyin', you got a gift and anyone who don't appreciate it, you send right over to me and I'll set them straight the old fashioned way.

What's all this talk about not bein' civilized? Readin' books, and spoutin' on about some Earth Mother fèihuà don't make a person more civilized than you. Just 'cause we don't got the schoolin' and don't talk all pretty-like doesn't mean we don't know a thing or two about the world, and what's important.

As for bein' brave? You're plenty brave. You leave the shootin' and killin' to those of us that are meant to be doin' that. We've all got our jobs to do, and you shouldn't have to be hurtin' no one if you don't want to be.

There, I said my piece. Don't like seein' you so down about things.

*smiles*

That's real sweet of you to say, Jayne. It's a stupid question makin' everyone go an' think about all the bad stuff. An' you're real shiny t'try an' make it be like I'm special.

I know I ain't all those things, but you're right 'bout us bein' as civilized as anyone. An'....an' I really don't wanna hurt no one. Well, maybe those húndàn scientists what hurt our River, but then I couldn't shoot folks hurtin' Captain, so...I don't know.

I'll try an' not be so down. I know it ain't my usual way.

"Kaylee, she knows how important you are. Tiny pieces that bend and break. Not a brittle bone. You mend them, make it right and make her fly. She knows you care Kaylee. Sees no flaws. No tears in seams. No cracks in a facade. She sees truth and heart."

I smiled to her, trying to reassure her in some manner. Simple familiar expressions. Showing trust. Emoting happiness. Compassion is something they can relate to. Hold it in, keep it for themselves.

"She knows you Kaylee. Sees no flaws. Only Kaylee."

Kaylee smiles slightly, touching River's face. "Hey, sweetie. I know you do. Just a bit sad t'night is all."

Her touch is soft. Gentle. Caring. To be a mother, one day. Be loved, and love others. Now settles for this. Below what she deserves. So much more. All confused, he looks for her. I see the stolen glances, yet nothing is said.

Instead sadness. Awkwardness. Static. White noise.

"Sadness will fade. It makes room for things that you deserve. He is smart you know. Realizes things too late is all."

A little shake of her head, looking down, hating how unsure she's feeling. Not like her to be so down.

"Ain't meant to be. I don't fit. Not in your world an' the things you're used to...he's used to." She forces a smile. "But it'll be all right. We'll all muddle through an' be better on the other side."

Worst Flaw

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