Worst Flaw

[xiao_meimei]

I'm guessin' there's a lot of 'em. I don't try to dwell on 'em much, but they're there. I ain't perfect by no means. Thing is, I let folks down a lot. I ain't really near enough smart or fancy for Simon. He don't like this life much. Thinks if he gives into it, he'll be all uncivilized. Well, I guess we ain't civilized then. An' that means I ain't...civilized enough. I don't talk proper. I can if I really put my mind to it, I s'pose. I got some schoolin' but most of what I know's based on just...what I feel. Natural talent my daddy calls it. Way I can just look at an engine an' know what's wrong with her.

But that ain't schoolin' an' it ain't something most folks care to talk about. An' it don't always work. Serenity broke once an' I didn't see it comin' an' couldn't fix her. She just...broke, an' because I let her, we almost all died. Would have iff'n Captain hadn't found another ship an' traded theirs an' got himself all shot an' almost died from that.

I ain't brave enough at all. We went after Captain once an' there were all these folks just shootin' at us an' there was nothin' I could do about it. Couldn't shoot back. I just froze. I mean, Captain's life was at stake an' I just froze. That ain't nothin' to be proud of.

So. Yeah. I let folks down a lot. My only job is to be a useful part of the crew an' keep Serenity flyin' an' I can't even do that sometimes. Don't mean to let folks down, but...I ain't perfect. An' I really wish I was.

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[aint-quiteright.livejournal.com]

Her touch is soft. Gentle. Caring. To be a mother, one day. Be loved, and love others. Now settles for this. Below what she deserves. So much more. All confused, he looks for her. I see the stolen glances, yet nothing is said.

Instead sadness. Awkwardness. Static. White noise.

"Sadness will fade. It makes room for things that you deserve. He is smart you know. Realizes things too late is all."

[xiaomeimei.livejournal.com]

A little shake of her head, looking down, hating how unsure she's feeling. Not like her to be so down.

"Ain't meant to be. I don't fit. Not in your world an' the things you're used to...he's used to." She forces a smile. "But it'll be all right. We'll all muddle through an' be better on the other side."