Worst Flaw

[xiao_meimei]

I'm guessin' there's a lot of 'em. I don't try to dwell on 'em much, but they're there. I ain't perfect by no means. Thing is, I let folks down a lot. I ain't really near enough smart or fancy for Simon. He don't like this life much. Thinks if he gives into it, he'll be all uncivilized. Well, I guess we ain't civilized then. An' that means I ain't...civilized enough. I don't talk proper. I can if I really put my mind to it, I s'pose. I got some schoolin' but most of what I know's based on just...what I feel. Natural talent my daddy calls it. Way I can just look at an engine an' know what's wrong with her.

But that ain't schoolin' an' it ain't something most folks care to talk about. An' it don't always work. Serenity broke once an' I didn't see it comin' an' couldn't fix her. She just...broke, an' because I let her, we almost all died. Would have iff'n Captain hadn't found another ship an' traded theirs an' got himself all shot an' almost died from that.

I ain't brave enough at all. We went after Captain once an' there were all these folks just shootin' at us an' there was nothin' I could do about it. Couldn't shoot back. I just froze. I mean, Captain's life was at stake an' I just froze. That ain't nothin' to be proud of.

So. Yeah. I let folks down a lot. My only job is to be a useful part of the crew an' keep Serenity flyin' an' I can't even do that sometimes. Don't mean to let folks down, but...I ain't perfect. An' I really wish I was.

Comments

[drsimontam.livejournal.com]

(This is awesome! Pure Kaylee!)

Gods Kaylee! You don't let anyone down. We can all depend on you to be bright and cheerful and to tell the Captain when you need parts. Yes, I know that you told him, repeatedly, about how the parts were wearing out. It's not your fault that they finally did.

Oh Kaylee, Kaylee, Kaylee, the fact that you would not take up arms and kill ... just proves you are the most civilized of us. You are the essence of civilization - light and love and joy, where humanity reaches its full potential to percieve the purpose of things without the need for words and books and 'learning'.

You remind us of our humanity and the purpose of civilization. I don't know what I'd do if you weren't here ... out in the black. You are our Earth Mother. How can I convey to you what a compliment that is? That I stand in awe of your natural lushness. The ease with which you fit into your body and move through life...how beauty surrounds you and falls on the rest of us like a shower from you.

[xiaomeimei.livejournal.com]

*blinks as she reads*

...Wow. I don't think I ever heard anything like that before.

I don't do all that stuff. I can't...I mean, I can be as bright an' cheerful as you please an' try an' keep all of your spirits up an' such but...

Ain't no way I'm the most civilized or...Earth Mother-ish...