What I'd do if there were no consequences....

Now that there's an easy one. Can't say as it's real bad. Maybe not even irresponsible, actually. But it's nothin' I'd do normally.

I'd walk right up to Simon an' kiss him. Then I'd ask him straight up if he thought I was pretty an' I met a girl recently at a party an' she said I ought to anyway, but I can't quite bring myself to do that. I mean, ain't like I haven't talked to him about it. I have. An' I tell him how I'm confused. Inara's right. My heart's right out there on my sleeve for him to see clear as day. But he don't ever...

He goes all stiff, an' not in the good way, dŏng ma?. He says it's his way of showing me respect, bein' polite an' such. I have to admit that's sweet of him. Very sweet. But somedays I just wish...I just wish he'd stop being so polite. But if I said that, or if I just...kissed him...well, that'd go against what he's trying to do. And he knows I'm interested in him. Ain't nobody that doesn't know at this point. So, if he ain't kissed me yet, there must be a reason. I don't want to know what the consequences would be if I took that from him--whatever control he's got by not kissin' me yet. He might get scared an' run. Or he might just carry me off to his bunk an'...well. Maybe my bunk, 'cause River comes into his a lot.

An' then I'd know if he was everything I think he is. But if he was offended? If that's not what proper ladies do in his world? Well. That'd be a consequence I wouldn't want to pay. I'd rather not know than have him look at me like I was some sort of jiànhuò.

So, I won't do it. Won't just kiss him until I get a clearer sign of specifically what it is he wants from me. I guess I'm just a wúwàng de làngmàn, at heart.

Most Treasured Possession

Oh, well this one's easy. One time we was on Persephone to meet a fella an' move some cargo with him. But to meet him we had to go to this fancy shindig. Well, Cap'n couldn't go alone. Fellas had to have an escort. Inara was already there an' Zoe and Wash had other things to do. So, Cap'n asked me to go.

He bought me the shiniest dress you ever did see. It's pink an' white an' all ruffled and just...it's gorgeous. Only things prettier I ever saw were some of the stuff Inara wears. So elegant an' refined. I felt like a princess wearin' it. Some girls tried to laugh at me, makin' me feel bad that it was store bought, but this nice gentleman came an' set them straight. Then all these other fellas came over an' we talked about engines an' ships for the rest of the night, 'til Cap'n went an' hit Inara's client an' I got dragged back to the ship.

They let me change outta the dress an' then Cap'n fought a duel while we planned to save him....

An' that has nothin' to do with that dress, 'cept it all came from the same time. Cap'n let me keep the dress. Don't think anyone knows it, but I keep it in my bunk an' pull it out to look at it sometimes.

It made me feel like a real girl, a lady, when I was wearin' it, an' that ain't somethin' I often feel like. I love what I do. Love my ship. Love my Cap'n. But most days I'm covered in grease an' my hair's all messed up. I know I ain't elegant. Wouldn't know how to act if I was.

But for that one night, in that dress, I was a princess. I walked in that world an' I met lots of mean folk an' lots of nice folk just like in my world. I pull out that dress, an' I look at it, an' I remember what it felt like to be Miss Kaywinnit Lee Frye, rather than just "Lil' Kaylee." Ain't nothin' wrong with bein' "Lil' Kaylee" but...it's nice to think about bein Miss Kaywinnit Lee Frye sometimes too.